To say that I am obsessive is an understatement. One that I prefer to mask with the word passionate. I'm passionate about meaningful things in my life. I'm also passionate about making sure my medicine cabinet is perfectly organized, my Tupperware are all proportionately stacked at all times, the wash cloth that I use to bathe my son matches the towel that I'm going to dry him with and I don't even want to go into the time we had finding the shade of gold fabric to make curtains that complemented the shade of gold paint for my son's nursery. Those are all meaningful things, right? RIGHT?
Back to my passion ... it can help and hurt me. When I'm working on a project for Bronson or a beautiful wedding for one of my brides, my passion leads me to cover every detail and then some, which helps. When a friend doesn't show as much passion as I have towards a relationship it hurts. But for all the hurt that my personality may bring I wouldn't change it.
When people hurt I tend to focus on that. I think about it all the time, pray about it and talk to Chad about it over and over. I want to fix it. Fix the hurt. Find a way to make things work. More so lately with people that I don't really know. This is one characteristic that I know I get from my dad. If you have a need and want a solution go to my dad. He can make it happen. He will go to the ends of the earth, in a span of an hour, and find a friend of a friend who has the magical solution you are looking for. He can also read a book and write a two page report on that book that you can turn into your college professor and get an A. Not that I have any idea of anyone who has used that particular service.
On our way to church yesterday I was talking to Chad about something and I said to him that I don't know why I get so focused on some issues. Then we went to church. One of the first songs that we sang was Hosanna by Hillsong United.
Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart for what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity
So maybe, just maybe I found my answer. He is opening up my eyes to the things unseen and breaking my heart for what breaks His. I can deal with that. Passion. Passionate about people. Some may say obsessive about people.